Monday, April 23, 2012

The Mental Leap from Wrong Bra to Right Bra

Any bra fitter will tell you that the most rewarding moments are when you fit someone who's been languishing in the wrong bra into the right bra. It's wonderful to see the mixture of disbelief and joy when a client realizes her boobs don't need to rest on her midriff anymore! However, just physically getting someone into the right bra isn't the whole story. For some women being in the right bra can be as mentally distressing as the physical strain of being in the wrong bra.

Don't Get Used to Low and Wide Boobs
Some women spend decades in the wrong bra, it becomes their norm and even though they experience shoulder dents, riding bands and sagging breasts, their 'wrong' bra is familiar. When you wear the wrong bra for a long period of time you'll get used to your breasts either lying low against your body or spreading wide across your body. Either way, your breasts will appear to have less volume because they're being spread over a larger area than if they were in a correctly fitting bra.

Breasts look so much bigger when they're unsupported and spread out
It's this 'dispersion' of breast tissue that leads to shock when put into the right bra. The right bra will lift your breast tissue up and away from your body and cup all your breast tissue close to your body (the closer your breast tissue is supported to your body the less bounce you encounter and therefore less damage to your breasts). When all the breast tissue is lifted into the right cup you can see the true volume of your breast and countless women are shocked that their breasts look 'big'.

Don't believe the Big Boob Stereotypes
While it's totally understandable that wearing the correct sized bra for the first time can be a shock, it's really saddening that so many women are upset at the idea of having larger breasts. Large breasts don't say anything about who you are just as having large feet or a small nose don't define your personality. And yet, we have these preconceptions that large breasts are a 'bad' thing. This is a crippling myth that we just have to eradicate because it's so harmful. Being in the right bra can be rewarding on so many levels:
  1. Your posture is improved when you're in the right bra and this improves your circulation and takes pressure off your back and neck.
  2. When you stop worrying about your shape you free your mind to think about more important things.
  3. You'll see your waist again!
From a professional point of view a large breast that sits high on your chest (midway between your shoulder and your elbow) and is well supported is a far more flattering and healthy look than undefined, low-hanging breast tissue (which I think looks much bigger) that makes you appear much heavier.
Embracing your figure and supporting your bust is good for you physically and mentally.
Why Accepting Your Body is Good for Your Health
For over 15 years my Mum has worked with physically disabled children and has always told me "You only have one body and when you're fortunate that it works perfectly you must celebrate it and look after it every day." I know this is an extreme example but it's always stuck with me that your body is unique and nothing to be ashamed of. Your breasts are not out to make a mockery of you, they don't define you and they don't hate you. They are part of you and deserve to be treated well so try and accept and love your shape rather than hiding it. I'd love your thoughts on why wearing the right bra is such a scary prospect for some women xx

20 comments:

  1. Wonderful post. Just wonderful. Now if only there was an immediate way to spread the word to every single person out there. But I guess it's little by little that we all must do our part.

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    1. Thank you for the very kind comment, I'm glad you liked the post. It would be wonderful if we could get this message out to every woman straight away but in reality we have to be persistent in our efforts and make sure busty women have resources and support xx

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    2. Well I put it on Pinterest because I read this comment and thought I could help spread the word. After a frank talk with a family member I tried a bigger cup size and a smaller band around than I had been wearing and it was like I got a boob job it made such a difference!

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    3. Thank you for sharing the Bra Fit word! I'm so glad your new bra fit has given you a lift. I hope you feel happy and comfortable in your new fit xx

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  2. Love this post! Keep up your fabulous work xx

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  3. Thank you so much for writing such a great post! I run into this resistance all the time! Keep spreading the word!

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  4. Thank you for blogging! I discovered blogs and women who also were slender and bodacious quite recently, before now I had thought I was alone! It's seriously life changing, just the knowledge that I'm not alone and having people who understand (unlike my peers) the frustrations accompanied with being built this way. Thank you thank you thank you! I'm 17 years old, I can't even imagine being in a poor-fitting bra for decades like some women are! :'(
    I'd say for me, the scariest/worst part of buying the correct bra size is the society taboo. Of having to go out of my way to buy them online, and having to explain to my friends that I have to special buy bras online, which makes me sound like a weirdo, and to counter that, having to explain that actually I'm not weird, that the bra sizing system used in department stores is wrong, and then I just sound like I'm going off my soapbox.

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    1. You are one very articulate and compelling 17 year old! You are absolutely not on your own so I'm glad you now feel part of a rather fabulous and curvaceous group :) The society taboo around big boobs and larger cup sizes is simply ignorance. It much easier to condemn something than to understand it. It's just such a crazy idea to suggest that women's breasts determine something about their personality. Remember that you don't have to explain anything to your friends; your relationship with your bras is your own and doesn't need justification or explanation - it just is - and it's fab! I hope you continue to explore the busty but slender world and find inspiration and support :) xx

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    2. Thank you <3 I'm sure I will! Keep on blogging, it really does make a difference! :)

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  5. This is such a great message, Claire. Thank you for writing this :) In my experience, my boobs also look smaller with the right bra. And the unsupported breasts in that photo above also look much bigger.

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    1. I agree, I think an unsupported breast looks much bigger, and sadder :( Glad you liked the post xx

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    2. When I had my first fitting at Bravissimo I could have cried on 2 counts; the first being my "correct" size, I was totally shocked at how big I was BUT when I put on my t-shirt I looked much smaller and felt fantastic. Secondly I couldn't believe what nice underware was available to the larger boobed lady, just because you are "big" it doesn't mean you have to wear boring "old lady" underwear and not feel attractive.....

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    3. Finding our your real size and then discovering what is available to you can be a very emotional experience. Thank you for sharing your experience xx

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  6. I was shocked to find out that I needed a 38DD bra. I guessed my size to be about a 36C. I currently wear a 44DD.

    For me, it's about how women treat each other. Men may not always be on their best behavior when they see big boobs but at least they are pretty honest about how they feel .

    I really wish I had women in my life that don't believe every plus-size and big boob stereotype. I dress modestly. I don't hook up with every guy I see. It is way too frustrating.

    Thanks for the encouraging post.

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    1. You have struck a vital point there dcsurferfirl. Women need the support, acceptance of encouragement of other women more than they need those things from men. A lack of female solidarity and understanding is very isolating.

      On a side note about your bra size; If your 44DD bra fits you in the cup then it seems unlikely to me that you'd be a 38DD. The cup volume on a 38DD is approximately 4 cup sizes smaller than the cup you're wearing now. Cups are proportional to their bands so they get smaller as the band size gets smaller. If the cup on your 44DD bra fits you then I'd suggest trying a 38G bra (US equivalent is a 38H) which has the same cup volume as the bra you have on now but a much more supportive band.

      Thank you for leaving your thoughts, I hope very much that with greater communication we can turn the tide of opinions about plus size and large breasts. xx

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  7. Thanks again for your encouragement. It hurts most when the disrespectful comments are from family members and so-called friends. Who needs that drama? Why should bra size matter so much?

    I was originally measured professionally (lingerie shop) as a 38DD but I did gain weight :(, therefore my current 44DD size. The 44DD does fit well. I am not sure that a 38H bra would fit my back but I could try...

    Thanks again for your positive attitude.

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  8. I've shared this on facebook and written my own blog post about it! I can't spread the word enough after finally being fitted into a properly-sized bra myself at the age of 29!

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    1. That's wonderful to hear and thank you for sharing our blog. It's never to late to find great fit. I have customers in their 50s, 60s, 70s and even 80s finding their correct fit for the first time and loving the improvement to their comfort and shape. xx

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