Don't Tell Me I Should Hate my Breasts!

Last week there was an article in The Hufffington Post (originally posted on Literally, Darling) that really irritated me. The two authors were bemoaning the problems and effects of growing and having larger breasts. This is a subject that is very real and many women with large breasts will feel some empathy with what the writers have to say. What bugs me is that the article (and many others like it) assume that ALL large breasted women are unhappy, in pain and lack confidence. What a load of rubbish! Besides being a happy, large busted woman I also know many women who are very happy and comfortable in their large breasts. The article in the Huffington Post implied that women like me are almost deluded because happiness, confidence and comfort simply don't apply to busty women.

There are a few stereotypes that get trotted out in articles about large breasts and I think we need to start taking them with a huge pinch of salt because they undermine the goal of stomping out big boob stereotypes. I want to address a few things written in the article:

"They (big boobs) dominate your whole life"
When you understand which sizes and styles of bras are right for your breasts many women can get on with their busy and varied lives without thinking about their breasts. My 32GG bust does not weigh on my mind when I'm working out in my Enell sports bra, they don't bug me when I'm out for dinner in my Idina plunge, and they behave themselves all day in my array of full coverage and balconette bras. They don't dominate my life because I have learned how to support and dress them in a way that makes me comfortable and happy.

"...and attempting to get guys to look above our chin when they talked to us."
There is a social assumption that every male is looking at big boobs with lecherous intent. Not only is this not true it also doesn't apply solely to big boobs. Those males who are only capable of looking at a woman's chest will do so whether you've got a little or a lot of boob, the problem lies with the man and not the cup size. This generalization also does a disservice to all the men who respect women, are interested in their thoughts and actions just as much (if not more) than how they look. This point is a whole other post but sufficed to say many people, men and women, are looking us in the face and we shouldn't dismiss them along with the stereotype.

"the giant girls sag from the sheer weight and flip-flop about in pretty much the least sexy way possible. Not a great visual, right?"
So much about this bothers me. Who the hell decides what's sexy? My breasts don't stay up by themselves, they haven't for years, they move about when not supported and not only do I feel sexy in my body I happen to love the natural shape and movement of my breasts so how dare you tell me it's not a great visual!

"Remember that we are just as insecure with ourselves as women who only need a camisole. We carry our own (very heavy) insecurities every day, too. Like everyone else, we learn how to cope with our own body image issues. You either hide behind giant clothing and pretend your breasts aren't the first thing anyone sees, or you learn to break the ice, make the first joke and just acknowledge the elephant(s) in the room. Because if you don't, someone else will."

Aghghghghgghgh!!!! Firstly, not every woman feels daily insecurities about her body and they're not delusional narcissists, they are women who have other priorities, have a self-confidence they can rely on and women who have dispensed with being told to feel insecure.

You absolutely have more options than wearing baggy clothing or self-deprecating humour. Your breasts are not 'elephants' that need to be belittled in order to make other people feel better. You are the sum of many parts and your breasts are only one part and to the people in this world who truly care for you, you will never have to justify or hide this part of you.

I know that for a long time to come we will continue to see articles like this which only serve to keep busty women in a vicious cycle of self-loathing and fear. As you know a huge part of what we do at Butterfly Collection is build knowledge and confidence as well as your bra drawer so please don't feel like you should feel embarrassed or ashamed about your bust simply because you're busty, it's a load of nonsense!! xx